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American Beauty Monologue (August, 2002) I've recently promoted the 1999 movie "American Beauty" to my "all time great movies" list (on which there are now ten films) . There are many aspects of this masterpiece I could comment on at length, but for now, I want to mention only the very last scene, a "voiceover" by the character played by Kevin Spacey, who has just been murdered. I was (and continue to be) overwhelmed by this scene, and have watched it at least 100 times in the last couple of months. The scene is definitely (by far) my "number 1 scene of all time". Although I can't begin to capture it's beauty in print (it depends a lot on the accompanying visuals, the music, and especially the tone of Spacey's voice), I still want to type out the words here. He's reflecting on his life (and of course, I'm often living in the past, so the very theme of his words has a particular poignance for me), his wife Caroline and his daughter Janie. I'd always heard your entire life flashes before your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second, at all; it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time.
For me, it was lying on my back, at boy scout camp, watching falling stars; And yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined our street; Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper; And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. And Janie..... and Janie. And Caroline. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me; But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much - My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And, I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But, don't worry. You will someday. |