Biographical Information

I was born on March 22, 1946, which I guess makes me... well, 74. I sometimes hesitate to tell people that, not because I have anything against the age, but because I fear the knowledge that I’ve lived so long (although it doesn’t seem all that long to me) will serve to put some sort of emotional “distance” between me and someone who regards 65 as “old” (say, someone born in 1978).

Actually, I shouldn’t have been born. My mom says I was an “accident"(but assures me that she would have had me later). So, that’s one reason I shouldn’t be here. But, another more compelling reason is that my parents had no business marrying in the first place, which they realized shortly after they were married (if not before). They divorced when I was 5, and for the next ten years I (along with my younger brother) was raised by a single mother.

For the first four "post divorce" years we lived in a fairly nice suburb of St. Louis called Brentwood, and my life was relatively “normal”. But, when I was 9, we moved to a roach-infested room in a tenement building located in the slums of the city (near Grand and Olive, for those who know the area). The environment wasn’t particularly wholesome, but it didn’t matter that much because (as an extreme introvert) I lived my life mainly inside my head, in a world created for me by the many books and comic books I read, the baseball cards I collected, and the movies I went to every week.

When I was 16, I was placed in a children’s home, because my mom was mentally ill and confined to a mental institution (she wasn't dangerous, so she couldn't have been confined today). I actually liked the “Home”, and regretted very much having to leave after only a year to live with my new foster parents. I hadn’t realized that when these people had taken me home for the weekend, they were “looking me over” as a possible candidate for foster care. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have made such an effort to be “charming”. So, I was stuck with them for the next year (they were well-meaning, but not very understanding of my interest in learning, which made things uncomfortable for me). But, the unpleasantness of the foster home was more than compensated for by the terrific high school (McClure)I attended my senior year. I met wonderful people there, many of whom are still very much in my thoughts today.

The Home sort of “railroaded” me into William Jewell College, a “backwoods” liberal arts college near Kansas City, Missouri. Of course, the Home didn’t literally force me to go there. And, since I had an outstanding high school record and literally no money, I probably could have worked out the financing for many other colleges if I'd tried. But, I simply didn’t know enough to try. I had neither a parent nor a mentor to advise me, so I basically did what the Home told me to do, and went to William Jewell College, when I should have said "you can take William Jewell College and..." .

Actually, it wouldn’t have been so bad at Jewell had it not been for the unfortunate coincidence that the math department happened to be in disarray during the very years I was there. They had not one math Ph.D. during that time, and my advanced calculus teacher was a seminary student teaching math in his spare time (he was a wonderful person, and actually a good teacher, but the point is that the school simply didn’t have the personnel to offer a very wide range of courses, which was destined to hurt me later). Had I been an English major (which I almost was), I would have been okay (educationally speaking); had I been a physics major, I would have been more than okay. But, as a math major at that time, I was in big trouble (though I didn’t find this out until I got to graduate school several years later).

I was a college student during the "Vietnam era", but really didn’t think much about the war. It just didn’t seem to relate to my life. Jewell was a very conservative place, and the big “issue” there was whether dancing should be allowed on campus (no, said the administration). The war began to relate to my life in 1968, the year of my graduation. Until about five months before graduation day, I'd assumed I would be going Washington University in St. Louis to study math on the graduate level. But, then Congress did away with graduate student deferments, which meant that I was a prime candidate for the draft.

At that point, had I had the least bit of political awareness and perspective on life (or, once again, a mentor), I might have realized that I should have applied to graduate school at the University of Waterloo, the University of Toronto, or some other Canadian institution of higher learning. Because I felt basically the way as did Muhammed Ali (a man I continue to think of as “great”), who said “I ain’t got nothin’ against them Viet Cong” (or something close to that).

But (essentially because of my naivete) I dutifully joined the Army, under the assumption that if I joined rather than waiting to be drafted, I would have more to say about what I eventually wound up doing in the service. And, actually, that turned out to be true. I signed up for “stock control and accounting”, thinking that the field must have something to do with numbers (you know, “accounting”). But, what it really meant was “stock clerk”, which is what I eventually became.

I did do one intelligent thing when I enlisted: I deliberately flunked the Army “leadership” test. I'd heard that people thought to have leadership potential would become squad leaders in basic training and have to spend a couple of extra weeks there. I knew I didn’t want that, and I also knew I didn’t want to be an officer (the average life span of a second lieutenant in Vietnam was about a week, I’d heard). It wasn’t too hard for me to fail the test. For one thing, I could see that it was based on the MMPI, a personality test I’d studied in college. And, for another, the questions were pretty obvious: “Which would you rather do 1) Hunt lions in Africa or 2) Go to the library”. So, I didn’t have to worry about being a squad leader or an officer.

And, I got married before I left for Basic Training at Ft. Leonard Wood in Missouri. I married Dolores (Dolly) Erskine on September 7, 1968. It was (of course) a very significant thing to do at that young age (I was 22 and she was 20). Although I don't think I clearly articluated it to myself at time, I was aware on some level that I didn't want to risk losing the relationship because of a long separation. As I write this almost 37 years later, I know that it is one of the best decisions I (we) ever made.

As it turned out, my three years in the Army were fairly pleasant, because I spent almost the whole time in a desk job at Ft. Belvoir, Virginia, which is right outside Washington D.C. In fact, I was one of four (out of about 50) people in my “supply clerk” training class to be sent to Ft. Belvoir. The rest were all sent to Vietnam (I still remember the slovenly first sergeant saying to us with a malicious sneer on his face “You’re all goin’ to "Nam""; as it turned out, all but four really were).

It's because the Army sent me to the Washington area that I eventually wound up going to graduate school at the University of Maryland, where I got an M.A. degree in 1973. Shortly after I began taking classes at Maryland I became unpleasantly aware that my mathematical education at Jewell did not begin to prepare me for the rigors of a high-powered math department like Maryland's, which is the primary reason I left with only a Master's. Had I had the perspective I now have (or, once again, if I'd had a wise advisor), I would have spent another year as an undergraduate taking only math courses before I entered graduate school. But, that's life. I'm not complaining, merely observing.

In 1975, I left the U. of Maryland and began working as an actuary for the Office Of Personnel Management (OPM), then called the Civil Service Commission. I took the job mainly because I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life, given that I was apparently not going to become a college math professor. What should I have done? Now it seems so clear that I should have become a high school math teacher, and tutored one-to-one in my spare time. But, at the time, teaching "elementary" math seemed somehow "beneath" me (and I had also seen the film "The Blackboard Jungle"). I now realize that it is the process of teaching that's meaningful and satisfying to me and that what I teach is much less important, indeed almost irrelevant.

But, I took the job as an actuary, and immersed myself in the work, and in studying for various actuarial exams. I found studying for these exams only partially satisfying. Some of the material I found quite interesting (like life contingencies and interest theory, although neither of these subjects had the beauty or mathematical elegance of many of the "pure" mathematical topics I loved). Also, I became rather passionate about an actuarial topic called Credibility Theory, and spent over two years studying it for fun (and with the idea of writing a book that would explain it coherently; but my passion finally fizzled out).

I passed enough of the exams to become an "associate" of the society of actuaries (ASA) in 1979. I had planned to become a "fellow" of the society of actuaries (FSA), and did pass several fellowship exams, but ultimately decided that it wasn't worth any more of my time (since it wasn't required for my federal job). I've never regretted my decision to quit studying for actuarial exams, but rather regret not having done it sooner.

I worked at OPM for 24 years, and being an actuary there was the only "real" job I've ever had. I liked working for the government (even though federal employees don't get very good "press"). At no time did I ever consider transferring to the private sector. Why? Because, since actuaries in the private sector work for companies that naturally want to make a profit (I'm not one of these people who thinks there's something wrong with making a profit, but wanting to make a profit does have certain implications)they are under pressure to maximize that profit, which I think implies that the time for contemplating an actuarial problem will be minimized. What I enjoyed most about being a federal actuary was that I had sufficient time to devote to the often complex problems I dealt with.

On September 30, 1999, at the age of 53 I retired under the government's "early retirement" program. It was one of the very best decisions I've ever made. Since then, I've been tutoring high-school students in mathematics (Algebra and Calculus mostly), and have found the work quite meaningful. I've always enjoyed explaining things, and now my "job" in life is basically to do that. Even when I was in graduate school, I would find myself rewriting the various texts in my own words, in order to explain the material in the simplest possible way.

I'm not the "stereotypical" actuary (who seems to be thought of as being in the same "ballpark" as accountants). No one is, really (and, by the way, some of the most interesting and thoughtful people I've met are accountants). But, I do have a variety of interests (some of which are not very "actuarial"), including movies, philosophy, psychology and, of course, mathematics.

Movies

I'm very interested in movies, and have been since early childhood. I vaguely remember seeing the Doris Day/Gordon MacRae film "Tea For Two" when I was four (and in my mind I can still hear the tune for the song of the same name). I loved musicals then (and probably still would, if there were any these days -- can it be coincidence that one of my "all time great" movies is "Welcome To L.A.", and that it has a musical score consisting of many beautiful songs? ).

I've found several fascinating places on the Internet to go for movie reviews and information. The most impressive by far is a data base located at Mississippi State University. You can visit it by clicking Main Page: The Internet Movie Database at Mississippi US . Another very worthwhile place for serious filmgoers is the archive of movie reviews at the New York Times, which you can find at @times film & video.

I like to write my own movie "reviews", which are simply my thoughts and feelings about movies I see. You can see my latest reviews at Movie Reviews. I'd appreciate hearing any thoughts anyone has on these reviews. I also make a "top ten" movie list every year, and I've put the last twelve of these at Top Ten. I'll eventually have lists going back to 1970.

Philosophy

I 'm concerned about what I call the "fundamental" questions of life, basic philosophical questions like "what is the nature of reality and is it possible to know anything about it"? I've concluded that most people (including professional philosophers) are as much in the dark as I am. But, I enjoy thinking about serious questions (what else is there to think about?). I'm particularly interested in the nature of consciousness (which seems to be a pretty lively field in philosophy these days).

I've spent much time contemplating such questions, and I'm including some of them for your consideration. You can find them at Philosophical Questions. I'd like to hear what anyone out there thinks about them. I plan to expand this section.

Psychology

I think a lot about the psychology of human relationships, and in particular, why most marriages seem to fail. I'm including a set of Psychological Questions., which I hope will inspire comments. I also plan to expand this section.

Mathematics

I'm interested in an area of mathematics called "Real Analysis". In particular, I've thought a lot about how to present this subject (and other advanced material) in a relatively elementary way. I think it's possible to explain higher mathematics in terms that a motivated high school math student can understand, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to do it. I'd like to correspond with anyone interested in systematically discussing the problems in some well-known analysis textbook (such as Royden's "Real Analysis" or Rudin's "Principles of Mathematical Analysis").

Literature

I originally planned to major in English in college because of my love of literature. But, when I was a junior, I finally decided to concentrate on math. I don't remember my reasoning at the time, but in retrospect, I think it was a good decision. I now see that I never could have gotten to my current level of mathematical understanding without the formal training I had in graduate school. On the other hand, I don't think that what I gain from reading would have been significantly enhanced had I pursued English on the graduate level.

Actuarial Science

My job at OPM enabled me to work in three major areas of actuarial science: Life Insurance, Health Insurance, and Pension Benefits. I negotiated rates with hundreds of Health Maintenance Organizations (HMOs) each year, and became an expert in the theory of community rating (among other things). I also wrote and maintained a computer model for the Federal Employees Group Life Insurance program (FEGLI). While the work was moderately interesting, and I met a number of fascinating people throughout my career (some of whom have become close friends), in retrospect, if I were to awaken tomorrow with my whole career before me (and with my present level of understanding) I'm quite sure I would not choose to be an actuary again. I simply enjoy teaching too much.

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